Baby Thoughts

Let me begin this blog by saying I am very grateful for all that I have been given. That said let me begin. Within the last 6 months I have received news that there are or will be 10 babies born from March to November of this year, all from family or close friends. Now, around the time that my babies reach their first birthday I start to want another one, well kind of sorta this time. I am happy with my two, and know that I am very blessed to have them and I would be fine just having what I have already, but there is still the feeling of "I'm not done being pregnant." I enjoy pregnancy for the most part, to me I just feel special, and it is magical to feel the baby move... BUT! at the end I get tired of being big and not able to wear my skinny clothes and just ready to be done. Well when Joey called last night I started thinking that I was ready for another one, and I was left to wonder why it is that the whole time I nurse we can't get pregnant, we have never done anything to prevent. Well last night I was reading a couple of blogs and I came across this quote.

"The Saints should always remember that God sees not as man sees; that he does not willingly affect his children, and that if He requires them to endure present privation and trial, it is that they may escape greater tribulations which would otherwise inevitably overtake them. If he deprives them of any present blessing, it is that He may bestow upon them greater and more glorious ones by-and-by." Elder George Q. Cannon (1827-1901) "That simple reminder accomplishes an incredible task- it helps me to feel grateful for my trials and gives me hope for the blessing that will come when I have shown the Lord that I trust in Him and have endured my trials well."

After reading that I had this thought come back to me when I was thinking about past conversations with my mom. We were talking about the struggle I thought it was to get pregnant with Mordecai and after he was born and all the kidney problems I had had being pregnant with him. Well my Mom all wise said, "The Lord knew what problems you were going to have being pregnant so he blessed you with Mordecai when he knew you and Mike, and Emily were best equipped to handle it." The minute she said that I was like "yeah right, he blessed us with that right in the middle of moving and closing on our old home." Well hind sight is 20/20 right? Now I know I was blessed because I wouldn't of learned the lessons I did by those struggles, I wouldn't have this bond with Mike that formed by him worrying and taking care of me, I know I wouldn't have this strong emotional, but different connection that I have with Mordecai that formed while I was going through all my struggles to keep him safe and able to arrive safely. There are tons more blessings that I don't even know or have time to write about. BUT!!! I know the Lord has blessed me.

Now that I am finally ready to have another one I hope it doesn't take so long to get pregnant again, and I hope that I will have a complication free one also.