Discouraged

I had my 36 week OB appointment this afternoon.  Kristal was sweet enough to come over and watch the kids so I didn't have to drag them to my appointment.  I had another ultrasound to measure growth and her kidneys.  At one point during the exam, I think she was measuring the stomach, the ultrasound tech asked me how far a long I was.  I told her, "36 weeks and 3 days" and she said, "Oh, well this one is just a little on the small side."  I told her that we had this with her older sister, but hopefully she will be bigger than Emily was.  Mike thinks that having a 6 pound 3 ounce baby is small, let alone bringing home a 5 pound 10 ounce baby which was what Emily dropped to.  Anyway, back to my appointment.  She gained a little in the weight department.  She went from the 15% to almost the 20% weighing in at 5 pounds 10 ounces.  Of course this is all give or take a pound.  Her kidneys are still dilated, but Dr. Huynh doesn't think it warrants calling in a pediatric urologist since she is so close to being due and that there is enough fluid around her still.  The thought is that once she is born we will have to make sure her pediatrician knows about the dilation, but that she will be fine and things will resolve on their own.

After mu ultrasound I had my group B strep test done, they are done much better than the way they had to do it when I was pregnant with Emily and Mordecai, and then a cervix check.  I always tell myself that I am not going to be dilated so that if I am not I wont be disappointed.  I did that this time, and was still disappointed.  I expected to be at least a 1.5, but I was barely a 1.  I don't know about effacement because all Dr. Huynh had to say was that my cervix is still way back up there and hard to reach.  That part is nothing new because it was that way with the other two as well.  Dr. Hall used to have me make fists and stick them under my hips when she checked me.  Anyway, with Emily I started at a 1.5 and 50% effaced up until they day I went into labor with her.  Mordecai I started at a 3 and 50% effaced up until I went into labor with him.  The only thing the same with those two, was that the day I went into labor with them I was a 'loose' 3 and could be stretched to a 5.  I know that things can change very rapidly and that today's findings don't really mean anything, but I am a bit discouraged.  I don't want to go late, I know I have said this a lot, but I don't feel like I am going to have her soon either.  Dr. Huynh did say she doesn't think I will make it to my actual due date since I haven't in the past, and that if she were me she would have Dr. Spears strip my membranes next week.  Until then I am bound and determined to walk every day for 29 minutes on my treadmill on an incline and run for a minute (since that is all I can do).  Blah!