Mind Wanderings

So this probably isn't going to make much sense, but this is just a lot of what I have been thinking about.  I don't think I am going to be ready for this baby to come.  I hit points with both of the other two that I could imagine them, what they would look like, act like, be like, sound like.  BUT! For whatever reason I can't and haven't done that with this one.  I was talking to Cherstin about this the other day and telling her that all I know is being a mom to two kids and being pregnant, and she told me that she felt that way too, and it isn't much of a difference going from 2 to 3 or even from 3 to 4.  Then she asked me if I was ready for the actual labor part and I hadn't even thought about that.  Then she said something that has made me start thinking.  She said, "February is going to start soon and you are going to get a big slap in the face that this is happening really soon."  Then that made me start thinking that last Friday I had some pretty noticible contractions and I was only 32 weeks and 5 days.  I also had some more on Wednesday night...I don't know if they were caused from the stomach bug I had or what but after Mike gave me a blessing they finally went away but not until Mike asked the question, "Are we going to have this baby early?"  I reassured him that if I were to go into labor this early they would stop it because I am only 33 1/2 weeks.  So all of this leaves me to think that this is really happening even if I am ready or not.  I still think I am going to go late, but maybe I wont.  I have already started to "nest" and have already packed the diaper bag (which we never did with the other kids), washed all of Emily's old baby clothes plus the car seat, and am getting anxious to install it into the car but I am refraining from that because it is still too early. 

On another note, I am smaller with this pregnancy than with Emily and Mordecai and I keep thinking I want to take a picture of me to compare with pictures of me pregnant with the other 2.  We will see if that happens though.  I am also ready to be back to my regular self, not body wise but hormone wise.  I find that once I get annoyed or bugged I am that way the rest of the day...seriously.  I have been trying so hard to not let myself go there, but haven't been too successful.  For example: earlier on this week the kids were playing just fine, and I was washing laundry.  While I was rotating the laundry I heard muffled screams for me and I yelled up the stairs, "What?"  I got more muffled screams combined with crying so I got upset cause I couldn't understand them and now I had to hike my pregnant body upstairs to find out what was going on.  When I got upstairs I noticed they weren't in Emily's room with the door shut like I had thought, but I was still hearing the muffled screams and crying.  I then realized it was coming from our linen closet.  Apparently they decided it was funny to hide under the bottom shelf in the closet that just so happens to touch the door when closed, so neither kid could stand up and let themselves out.  When I opened the door they were both crying hysterically and telling me how scared they were and all I could think was, Why were you playing in something you knew you weren't supposed to be in? when I should have felt bad for them and want to comfort them.  So I called Mike all angry to calm myself down and all he could do was laugh.  He told me to go write this down on our blog or Facebook and someone would make me feel better.  Writing it now makes me laugh but at the time I was so furious.  I think I have rambled on enough, so goodnight.